MzAgams
Nigerian Writer & Divorce Lawyer
recent posts
- Day 15: The Cost of Freedom — Why We Choose “Exit” Over “Endurance”
- Day 14 of #16Days: Digital Evidence Class — “Screenshots Are Not Enough”
- Day 13 of #16Days: Workplace Harassment — When the “Abuser” is Your Boss
- Day 12 of #16Days: Polygamy Survival Guide — Structural Power & The “Other” Wife
- Day 11 of #16 Days: Custody Law vs. “Our Tradition” — The Child’s Rights Act (CRA)
MzAgams 
5 responses to “What Would You Do If You Heard Your Neighbour Violently Abusing His Wife?”
I couldn’t say about local practices in Nigeria, but it is always safer to call the police and let them handle the matter rather than trying to intervene yourself. Domestic violence calls are among the most feared by law enforcement and other public safety personnel, because the potential for violence to anyone else happening upon the scene – as well as the original victim and even the abuser himself – is extraordinarily high.
I read an article about a South African study of how people reacted to noise in their neighbourhood. The neighbours got together to stop loud music playing from a house on their street but ignored the nightly sounds (recorded) of a woman being beaten. I’m looking for the link. In Nigeria you wouldn’t call the police. I’m still considering what would be appropriate responses. I really have no idea and of course you’re right, intervening would not necessarily be the best response. Exploring
That’s a pretty pathetic statement of where people’s priorities are, isn’t it? Still, it doesn’t surprise me, although I wish I could say it did. I suppose that dealing with the police in some places could be as much or more of a minefield than addressing the actual problem…
It was shocking to read. And very disturbing. Domestic violence is seen as a personal matter between husband and wife, and like some folks have asked me what if its just their own ‘kink’, which we all seem to agree everyone is entitled to. But surely we wouldn’t let people have very loud sex every night, at the very least we would say the morals of our children are threatened. Attitudes towards violence against women make it one very complicated field to work in. I’m learning to focus on the women that have already decided to get a divorce or who come to me for legal services. Who have made their personal decision and I’m trying to make that as easy as possible for them.
In addition the police in Nigeria where I live and practice are very very misogynistic, most of them are brutalized and are brutal to their wives and families too. Just today y intern said to me while we were discussing who to target in our family law clinic outreach that police wives are frequently victims of DV