Once you’ve made up your mind to get a divorce here are the next ten steps you should take
1. Plan where you r going to live. If you want custody of the children the court will demand to know how and where you with live with them. In some cases the courts have accepted a woman’s parents residence but almost never if you are living with anyone else.
2. Start saving money, you will need all the money you can get whether you are expecting to live on your own or with your children. And divorce proceedings can get expensive.
3. Get a job if you don’t have one. To get custody the court will demand you show proof of work.
4. Calculate /track your living expenses for 3 to 6 months with receipts etc.
5. If you cannot work or get a job you must be able to demand maintenance from your spouse especially if your spouse prevented you working. Gather evidence to prove this.
6. Make copies of all important documentation like marriage certificates, children’s birth certificates. Any properties you own together that you believe you have a substantial claim or interest in
7. Consider whether you were married in church and which one, in a registry or a traditional ceremony or a combination of the 3. If you were married in the Catholic Church or the Anglican Church your marriage comes under statutory law even if you did not go to a registry. Your lawyer will file in the High court. If you married in any of the other churches you should ask them. I’ll get information on all churches that qualify asap and post to the blog. If its a traditional ceremony only then customary and tribal law applies. You’re petition will be filed in a customary court. Look for a lawyer whose expertise is there
8. Make a short-list of lawyers to see in your locality. Get names by word of mouth, on-line or through legal articles. Go and interview each of them. Make sure they understand the particular law as it relates to you and are sympathetic with you. If their first response is to advice or insist on reconciliation move on. Do not go with your evidence for the first meeting. Assess the lawyer before making a commitment.
9. If you’re satisfied that the lawyer will act in your best interest to secure a divorce/ separation for you and get custody for you then go and give him photocopies of all your evidence for assessment. Create your own file to keep at home. This when you should pay your retainer fee and sign an agreement with your lawyer.
10. If you want to claim maintenance or even division of property you will need evidence of your spouses income and assets. This will include salary slips, bank statements, property deeds etc. Make sure you get copies of all these things if they are available.
10. Talk to your family and your friends and your pastor before deciding on a divorce. Only go see a lawyer after you’ve decided that you want a divorce or separation. I’ve met lawyers that believe their personal ‘calling’ is to reconcile divorcing couples. I do not.
Don’t go to a lawyer unless your decision is made. Its not the lawyer’s job to help you decide one way or the other really or to advise you whether or not to get a divorce. The decision is yours, a lawyers job is to make it legally possible for you to achieve your aim with the full protection of the law. So help your lawyer help you. Take these steps first.
Of course there are times when the decision to leave is abrupt and you cannot be prepared. If your life is in danger you must put your safety first.
If you would like to know more or you have further questions you can book a consultation with me here.
MzAgams 
253 responses to “What You Need To Do Before Getting A Divorce in Nigeria”
I hv decided to let go of d woman I married a year and 6months but need a lawyer to help with the divorce.
I am currently not working for almost two years but knew my wife before I lost my job and yet am treated as one with no vision by her and d parents. Prior b4 r delivery we were in good terms I presume cuz she is based in abj y am in lag but as a result of an agreement btw us on r EDD for an interview I had I cldnt travel down to abj bt r mum did on dat same day. After delivery she went cold and I beg to speak with r. She stays in r father house in abj n r mum in lagm am bini she ekiti and a lot I can’t explain here now I was made to no my child data 8days after delivery n upon r arrival in lag. On r naming she was crying, long story short after dedication in church we had a disagreement n I slap r face next was she quickly called r mum n came to pack all r stuff from my home to der place. She travel to abj n my parents called r but she declined even r parents accused me of wanting to kill r n marry sum1 else. Well she is in abj n don’t speak to any relative or siblings of mine and r parents has neva for onced called to ask wat happened instead r dad says I sld call r mum n beg r. She travel to abj and I got to no she went to do anoda dedication of d child and truly its over four months and she has not seen any reason to live with me but instead tell people dat r happiness n life is key n dat r parents neva liked me from onset cuz am not der tribe or church member n not d type dey want for r. I hv reason over and decuded to let r b so she cld marry d man r parents wants. She never for once bought anything to my home and all d baby uses were bought by me or family. Pls I need a lawyer I can reach. I hv gone to c r pastors but r parents hv told r never to come back n she has also stood with dem since all she c is material tins. I can’t really say all its more dan dis but d truth is I did notin to r n only time I slapped r doug y I was in abj she called security to take me out of r house simply cuz I told r to go bath n put off d TV or go sleep inside.