Once you’ve made up your mind to get a divorce here are the next ten steps you should take
1. Plan where you r going to live. If you want custody of the children the court will demand to know how and where you with live with them. In some cases the courts have accepted a woman’s parents residence but almost never if you are living with anyone else.
2. Start saving money, you will need all the money you can get whether you are expecting to live on your own or with your children. And divorce proceedings can get expensive.
3. Get a job if you don’t have one. To get custody the court will demand you show proof of work.
4. Calculate /track your living expenses for 3 to 6 months with receipts etc.
5. If you cannot work or get a job you must be able to demand maintenance from your spouse especially if your spouse prevented you working. Gather evidence to prove this.
6. Make copies of all important documentation like marriage certificates, children’s birth certificates. Any properties you own together that you believe you have a substantial claim or interest in
7. Consider whether you were married in church and which one, in a registry or a traditional ceremony or a combination of the 3. If you were married in the Catholic Church or the Anglican Church your marriage comes under statutory law even if you did not go to a registry. Your lawyer will file in the High court. If you married in any of the other churches you should ask them. I’ll get information on all churches that qualify asap and post to the blog. If its a traditional ceremony only then customary and tribal law applies. You’re petition will be filed in a customary court. Look for a lawyer whose expertise is there
8. Make a short-list of lawyers to see in your locality. Get names by word of mouth, on-line or through legal articles. Go and interview each of them. Make sure they understand the particular law as it relates to you and are sympathetic with you. If their first response is to advice or insist on reconciliation move on. Do not go with your evidence for the first meeting. Assess the lawyer before making a commitment.
9. If you’re satisfied that the lawyer will act in your best interest to secure a divorce/ separation for you and get custody for you then go and give him photocopies of all your evidence for assessment. Create your own file to keep at home. This when you should pay your retainer fee and sign an agreement with your lawyer.
10. If you want to claim maintenance or even division of property you will need evidence of your spouses income and assets. This will include salary slips, bank statements, property deeds etc. Make sure you get copies of all these things if they are available.
10. Talk to your family and your friends and your pastor before deciding on a divorce. Only go see a lawyer after you’ve decided that you want a divorce or separation. I’ve met lawyers that believe their personal ‘calling’ is to reconcile divorcing couples. I do not.
Don’t go to a lawyer unless your decision is made. Its not the lawyer’s job to help you decide one way or the other really or to advise you whether or not to get a divorce. The decision is yours, a lawyers job is to make it legally possible for you to achieve your aim with the full protection of the law. So help your lawyer help you. Take these steps first.
Of course there are times when the decision to leave is abrupt and you cannot be prepared. If your life is in danger you must put your safety first.
If you would like to know more or you have further questions you can book a consultation with me here.
MzAgams 
253 responses to “What You Need To Do Before Getting A Divorce in Nigeria”
My husband and i got married at Ikoyi Registry on the 8th of May, 2010.we are blessed with two boys, age 3 and half and 1 and half.I”v been carrying 70% of the children responsibility with out any complain but hes not appreciable.he keeps quarreling with often times, sometimes he keeps malice for 3 months and more than. both families have intervene several times but all this didn”t yield any improvement.7months ago he became more violent that he almost injured so i left the house with my two kids to my parent house and he did n”t show after 3 days.wen his parent visited my father after one week, my father told them that they should allow me pick some of my stuff for and stay for 3moths that may be he needed some breathing space. wen he moved to his newly completed house at Mowe, Ogun state, he pack my my valuables outside and left it there.it was my neighbour that inform me abut my stuff. He didn’t show for 3months till i took the case to d welfare before they summoned him to come so he can take part in d responsibilities of d children.they even advice reconciliation,initially he obliged and we discuss d conditions 3months ago.later last week he request we meet at d welfare office and getting there, he said he doesn’t want have anything to do with me. I am tired of him becos dts hes attitude when we still together.on and off.
what measure can i take to dissolve d marriage so i can move ahead with my life cos he can be enjoying his life and not traped in dis marriage while i am and he believe he can marry another wife since i can’t track him cos he lives in mowe, Ogun State now and I live in Lagos and he does not want to carry out d legal process himself becos of d grounds and he also believe that even if i take him to court i will loose.i don’t know what to do. please your advice will be appreciated.
thank you
Live apart from him for two years and then get a lawyer to file a petition of divorce for you. Living apart for two years fulfils grounds for divorce as evidence of irreconcilable differences. Continue to monitor his address so you can serve him court papers when the time comes. Keep evidence of all your expenses for the children during that two years. Every kobo and every naira. Receipts reports etc. When filing for divorce ask for custody and explain that he is not maintaining them only you, Attach all your evidence. He can still contest the divorce but if you live apart for 3 years the court will give you a divorce