Exit Feminism · 16 Days of Activism · Digital Violence × Family Law Edition
In the past week, the public debate around marriages — who is married, who isn’t, who can “return bride price,” who has rights — has been loud, confused, and full of half-truths. The Regina Daniels / Ned Nwoko commentary spotlighted an old Nigerian problem:
Everyone talks about “customary marriage,” but very few actually know what counts as one.
Today, let’s clear the fog.
No sentiment.
No village gossip.
Just the law, the practice, and the evidence you need to protect yourself.
📌 FIRST: What Is a Customary Marriage in Nigeria?
A customary marriage is a marriage conducted according to the native law and custom of the ethnic group of the parties.
But contrary to popular belief, customary marriage is not “anything goes.”
It has strict legal elements.
Courts across Nigeria (East, West, North) consistently hold that a valid customary marriage requires:
1️⃣ Capacity
Both parties must be legally capable of marrying under their custom (age, consent, no prohibited relationship).
2️⃣ Consent of Families
Not personal consent alone — family consent, particularly the male head of family or a recognized male representative.
In several cases, courts ruled that without the father or a male representative participating, the marriage is incomplete.
Case examples include:
- Ezeuko v. Nwokoye – where lack of essential customary representation invalidated a purported marriage.
- Anyigor v. Ede – confirmation that parental/family consent is a core element under Igbo customary law.
(These cases establish the principle; even though customs differ, the requirements are consistent nationwide.)
3️⃣ Bride Price (Or Symbolic Exchange)
Bride price must be requested, negotiated, and accepted.
No acceptance → no marriage.
A mere visit, fiesta, or blessing ceremony does not create a marriage.
4️⃣ Rituals / Rites Required by That Custom
Each ethnic group has defined steps:
● introduction
● wine-carrying
● íme ego
● igba nkwu
● family handover, etc.
Incomplete rites = incomplete marriage.
5️⃣ Handing Over / Cohabitation
Traditionally, the woman is handed over to the man’s family — demonstrating the completion of the marriage.
📌 SECOND: What Does Not Count as Customary Marriage
❌ A church wedding without registry signing
If the church is not licensed under the Marriage Act, and the couple didn’t sign the statutory register, the ceremony is simply:
a church blessing to a customary marriage
—not a statutory marriage.
This was at the centre of the Regina Daniels discourse:
a church ceremony + photos = NOT statutory marriage.
❌ Posting photos on social media
Pictures are not proof of marriage.
❌ Living together for 20 years
Cohabitation is not marriage in Nigeria.
❌ Bride price paid but no family consent
Payment alone is not enough.
Courts have rejected unions where a father or male representative was not consulted — especially under Igbo custom.
❌ “We did introduction, that’s enough.”
Introduction is NOT marriage.
Ask any judge.
Ask any Igbo elder.
📌 THIRD: Women Must Understand the Legal Consequences
Unlike statutory marriage, customary marriage:
- allows polygamy
- does not automatically provide maintenance rights
- may weaken property claims
- complicates custody battles
- can be dissolved simply by returning bride price
- can be exploited to deny women property, inheritance, or pension rights
The danger?
Many women believe they are “legally married” when they are not — leaving them unprotected.
📌 FOURTH: Why This Matters for Digital Violence
Customary marriages are the easiest to weaponize in cases of:
- online impersonation
- deepfake threats (“I will expose you”)
- revenge porn
- false “marriage denial”
- digital stalking by extended family
- hacking into devices to prove “adultery”
- WhatsApp surveillance
- defamatory posts claiming “she was never my wife”
Women need clarity because the law protects you only when you can PROVE the type of marriage you have.
And digital footprints matter.
📌 WOMEN’S ACTION POINTS
✔ Ask yourself: Can I prove my marriage?
Not just with photos — but with evidence.
✔ Keep documentation:
- receipts for bride price
- lists of items
- photos/videos of rites
- witnesses
- family confirmations
- letters
- WhatsApp chats detailing negotiations
✔ If you WANT the protections of monogamy, custody rights, and statutory divorce —
insist on registering the marriage under the Marriage Act.
📌 CLOSING
Customary marriage gives cultural recognition — but it comes with legal vulnerabilities.
Statutory marriage gives maximum legal protection, especially for women navigating divorce, custody, property division, and now — digital violence.
This campaign exists so Nigerian women don’t walk into marriage blindfolded.
Tomorrow we tackle:
DAY 4 — Customary vs Statutory Marriage: The Rights You Gain vs The Rights You Lose
📊 CTA 1: SURVEY (Anonymous)
What state/tribe’s customary law do you want me to break down?
Tell me in the survey — your answers will shape my next posts..
👉 Take the 2-minute survey: Nigerian Women’s Legal & Marital Challenges
🎓 CTA 2: JOIN WAITLIST
Want my full course “Family Law in Nigeria: What Every Woman & Lawyer Must Know”?
👉 Join the waitlist:Family Law in Nigeria Course
MzAgams 