Theme: The Village vs. The Act.
Goal: To legally empower women to reject the customary blackmail that children are the “property” of the father.
For generations, Nigerian women have been held hostage by a single, terrifying sentence: “If you leave, you leave my children.”
In many of our cultures, particularly under Igbo and Yoruba customary law, the narrative is that children are the “property” of the father. The woman is merely the vessel; the man is the owner. This belief system has kept millions of women in abusive, soul-destroying marriages because they believe that stepping out the door means losing access to their children forever.
Today, on Day 11 of #16Days, we are dismantling this lie.
The Lie: Tradition says the man owns the children (especially the male children).
The Law: The Child’s Rights Act (CRA) says the child’s welfare owns the decision.
The Clash: “Our Tradition” vs. The Law
Under strictly customary systems, custody was often automatic. If the bride price was paid, the children belonged to the father. If the child was a boy, he “needed to be raised by men.”
But we are not living in 1920. We are living in the era of the Child’s Rights Act (CRA) 2003.
The CRA is the “Super Trump Card” of family law. Section 1 of the CRA states clearly that in every action concerning a child, the best interest of the child shall be the primary consideration.
This means the court does not care about:
- Who paid the bride price.
- What the village elders think.
- Who has the “right” of ownership.
The court ONLY cares about:
- Where will the child be safest?
- Who provides emotional stability?
- Who attends to the child’s daily needs (schooling, medical, emotional)? .
Case Law: When Tradition Loses
Nigerian courts are increasingly prioritizing welfare over custom. In cases like Alabi v. Alabi, the courts have ruled that the interest of the child supersedes customary claims.
Even in conservative jurisdictions, if you can prove that following “tradition” (e.g., handing a toddler over to a father who works 12 hours a day and has no childcare plan) would harm the child, the tradition falls.
Exit Feminism Application: Stop Begging, Start Asserting
Exit Feminism demands that we stop begging “culture” for mercy and start using the “law” for protection.
If your husband or his family threatens you with “custom,” do not argue custom with them. You will lose, because custom was written by men, for men. Instead, shift the battlefield to the Child’s Rights Act.
- Document your caregiving: Show that you are the primary parent.
- Document his absence: If he is “claiming” the children but never attends PTA meetings or doctor visits, document it.
- File under the CRA/Statutory Law: Move the case to a court that respects the Act, not just the village meeting.
👩🏾⚖️ Lawyer Tip: The “Repugnancy” Argument
When you are in court and the other side starts quoting “tradition,” here is the legal strategy:
Argue that the custom is “Repugnant to Natural Justice, Equity, and Good Conscience.”
Any custom that treats a child as a chattel (property) to be handed over without regard for their emotional or physical wellbeing is contrary to natural justice. Furthermore, under the CRA, any law or custom inconsistent with the Act is void to the extent of that inconsistency.
Don’t let them tell you “it is our way.” If “our way” hurts the child, it is illegal.
📊 CTA 1: ANONYMOUS SURVEY
Has your husband or his family ever threatened to take your children if you leave, citing “tradition”? We are gathering data on how customary threats are used to silence women. 👉 Take the 2-minute anonymous survey here: Nigerian Women’s Legal & Marital Challenges
🎓 CTA 2: WAITLIST
Do you want to see the specific legal templates used to argue for custody under the CRA? 👉 Join the waitlist for “Family Law in Nigeria: What Every Woman & Lawyer Must Know”: Family Law in Nigeria Course
Hashtags: #UnbindYourExit #ChildsRightsAct #CustodyBattle #NigeriaFamilyLaw #ExitFeminismNG #16DaysOfActivism
MzAgams 